There is No Marilyn Monroe Sex Tape

I wasn't going to touch this story, but now that the FBI has weighed in with what appears to be the last word, let me join in the chorus of good citizens telling you: The so-called Marilyn Monroe sex tape was a hoax. And the sun rose in the East.

For weeks, classic movie fans have been hearing the buzz that an anonymous New York businessman had bought a copy of a film allegedly held by the FBI, with Monroe allegedly engaged in a sex act with a man whose face could not be seen - some grainy, sleazy "French-type" film.

Of course it's a hoax, but the buzz on the web and in the MSM had reached the point where the FBI issued its denial. (Part of the tale was that Edgar J. Hoover was obsessed with trying to prove the man was JFK, blah, blah, blah.)

If I weren't so disgusted with the self-serving, self-aggrandizing twerp of a perp who circulated the story, I'd have to hand it to him. Combine the legend of Marilyn with the equally legendary JFK and Hoover, and watch the media and the armies of googlers go nuts.

You know, I wish coming up a load of bat guano like this and foisting it on the public were illegal. Maybe it is. Meanwhile, watch something the poor girl did beautifully - like Some Like It Hot.

Painting of Monroe by Laurent Smael/Getty Images