The Science of the Sexy Sashay

Bulletin from the world of science:

A team of Cambridge math wizards with too much time on their hands has developed the mathematical formula for just the right hip-to-waist ratio that will give a woman the perfect wiggle as she walks. The closer that ratio is to 0.7, the sexier the sashay, say the scientists.

The wonky Brits say brash newcomer Jessica Alba wins with a spot-on 0.7, beating out Angelina Jolie and even Marilyn Monroe, who came in a tad off at 0.69. Oh, really?

I adore science and scientists, but there are some things that cannot be measured by mathematics alone. The perfect womanly sway may be observed on the back porch, but it originates between the ears.

I hereby sentence each of them to watch Marilyn walk down the railway platform in Some Like it Hot until they come to their senses.

Statue of Marilyn Monroe at the QEII exhibit opening/by Frederick Brown, Getty Images